Crystal Cox is NOT a Journalist

Just a sad and deluded woman

Posts tagged Extortion

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Good News Everybody…

You read that in the Professors Farnsworth’s voice didn’t you?

Sweet zombie Jesus.. Wha!

and that…HA!

Well yes it is good news, except for Crystal Cox that is. It seems that the universe is starting to right itself.

How you ask?

Well you just have to look at these two links that used to be owned by Crystal and now you can see that they both point to the one, the only, the man with the MAFAI ties himself (silk not leather) Marc Randazza’s Legal Group.

So Crystal (or should we also include a Ms Mayers with this question) does your domain name portfolio feel less bulky now? Better hang on tight, it seems it will be getting slimmer each and every day.

We aren’t normally ones to gloat, but in the words of Zoidberg.

Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop!

Now back to your normal HypnoToad channel the lot of you. Though we will shortly be posting some huge expose’s of the stupid, the mundane, the perjured, and the discombobulated, with even some history thrown in about extortion and bad manners for good measure.

We might even talk about how we ourselves are not even situated in the USA.. o_O

Filed under Crystal Cox extortion good news zoidberg randazza

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A quick laugh-fest Intermission for the idiotic Crystal Cox

Due to that thing the rest of us, other than Crystal, call reality we have been sadly remiss in our duties to educate and laugh at Crystal Cox. Though it seems she and some of her weird new friends in the Batshit Crazy cave have been doing our job for us.

You see Crystal has tried to make some sort of meaning out of Righthaven, Steve Gibson (CEO of Righthaven), Stephens Media, Todd Kincannon, and Marc Randazza, by linking them all together in some sort of weird conspiracy involving Porn, the Las Vegas Review-Journal (A newspaper), Magical Hocus Pocus, knpr (a radio station), and the Illuminati. Or was that Lizard aliens? (who can understand Monica Foster’s weirdness)

All this weirdness can be found on Crystal’s own blogs which we wont link to anymore from here since all that is doing is giving her more revenue for her link farms thereby enabling her to keep up with her vilifying and extorting ways.

For anyone who has never heard of Righthaven (you lucky people) these links referring to court cases that the EFF and Randazza Group were a part of against Righthaven should help you understand why the following video is by everyone on the planet to Crystal Cox and her army of nucking futters.

Crystal we suggest that you click on this link for the full 10hour experience of what the world is doing whenever they read your delusions.

Filed under Crystal Cox Crazy extortion illuminati Monic Foster righthaven

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Is Crystal in serious need of a learning experience?

As we stated in our last post, “it’s time to get serious" so lets get serious!

You all thought we weren’t serous didn’t you? Seriously? Ha! that will teach you.

Talking about teaching, or in all seriousness typing about it, ok ok.. we hear the groans.. we will stop this serious business of typing ‘serious’ every three words. Seriously

Back to teaching. Would anyone like to know of a learning experience that might be about to be given to Crystal Cox? No? Right.. you.. yes you behind the bikesheds… stand still laddie! oops sorry we had a Pink Floyd - The Wall moment there.

For you other nice students who will be having pudding. We invite you to sit back, open your minds, and listen to this lesson of life.

As most people understand you are never too old or too young to learn, life itself is a learning experience, whether it is a cruel one or an enjoyable one full of wonder we leave to the student to understand. Though in Crystal’s case the lesson on not attempting to extort, intimidate nor interfere with a witness has seemingly not been taught, or if it has it must of slipped through the cracks of her DERP (Deluded & Erratic Reality Distortion) Field.

See there is a well known common sense law that is part of United States Code - Title 18 (Crimes and Criminal Procedure) that states that “Tampering with a Witness, Victim, or Informant” is a Federal crime punishable by up to 20 years in jail, which means students, that Crystal may (and we think Crystal’s definition of may would be correct here) be placed into playground detention for a while.

Below the fold is a long drawn out, and shall we say seriously (yes… ok ok) boring though informative reasoning of why we here at CrystalsTumblingCox think it is way past time that the School of Life’s Principal becomes involved (ie: those scary dudes and dudesess who sit at a bench and bring down punishments on the naughty boys and girls)

Read more …

Filed under Crystal Cox 18USC1512 Witness Extortion teaching life delusion

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Captain Obvious tells it like it is… obviously

It seems that Captain Obvious himself has come out of retirement [h/t to Joe_pullen].

He, that sees all and knows all that is common and obvious, has once again heard the cries of the sane and heeded the call to once again take up what to him is quite obvious and explain to the world that Crystal Cox is, in his words

"[a] Bat-shit crazy Blogger of BullShit, defamer of the innocent, Reverend of the Ridiculous"

Not only that but because this is the 21st century, he has graciously made a HD multimedia presentation of awesomeness.

We recommend that you click the full screen [ ] icon to get the full awesomeness, and once you watch it once, watch it again to keep pausing and read what will be obvious to everyone that Crystal is just another wannabee nutter with an attachment problem and narcissism trait who just wants to be immortalized.

She will be, though even Captain Obvious would agree that it is not going to be in the way she wants it to be. Oh well, it’s obvious when you think about it.

Filed under Captain Obvious Crystal Cox video extortion defamer Narcissism

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Breaking News: May defined as Must, dictionaries explode everywhere

The word may to us, is full of meaning, full of a sense of possibilities and opportunities with it’s tiny and cute 3 letter combination of; m that is found starting words like mom, music, mirth and mischief; a found in the vowels of the English language itself therefore a hAppy letter full of mirth and mischief (the Greeks even call it the beginning letter); y why indeed is this letter the source of Crystal’s scorn since it is an affirmative letter of Yes and Yo and even found within funny sayings; but to Crystal Cox this word is wrong, and seems to now be beholden to what she considers reality.

Crystal you see good readers has taken this word, this word with it’s many and varied uses of historical, legal, and cultural significance and decided instead that may now means hence and forthwith MUST.

Why do we state this travesty of etymological proportions.

Well Crystal has once again helped define what to any reasonable, semi-intelligent, or even semi-illiterate person this word means, as the complete and bleeding opposite of what it actually should be.

In her latest treatise on why she is more equal than anyone else and why the world must Respect Her Authoritah! we notice the following at the misnamed website of “Investigative Blogger" [and here we thought Ethics Complaint was irony incarnate]


Here is the Disclaimer in this Email Thread Regarding the Communication, Privileged Communication Between Crystal Cox Defendant in Her Pro Se Capacity and Opposing Counsel David Aman, Tonkon Torp Law Firm.

"The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged, confidential, and protected from disclosure.  If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution, or copying is strictly prohibited.   …… If you think you have received this e-mail message in error, please e-mail the sender at”

This misled me, deceived me, in my Pro Se Capacity, that along with the fact that the lawsuit had already been filed, a cease and desist already sent and I was responding to David Aman, Attorney for the Plaintif CONTACTING ME.

[sadly all formatting and cognitive dissonance has not been changed ]

Can you see it? The destruction, the horror, the pain that may now endures, when someone of Crystals highly investigative blogging caliber shows the world that she and she alone can tell that may = must and must =! may.

One day soon, in the not too distant future Crystal herself will have need of this word, but sadly in her universe no body will understand what “MustDay Mustday Mustday” means and she will drown in her own self indulgent and egotistical swill.

We might help, though only it seems in the month of May, or is that Must now?

Filed under may Crystal Cox stupidity must etymology extortion

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Lesbians, and Marc Randazza


Yes that was our exact exclamation, part of it anyway, the rest was “The FUUUUUUUCK!” when we found whilst surfing the tubes and Digging Deep, as one does, this actually not bad site dealing with Lesbian issues called “Out Lesbian" that is owned by, you guessed it, the Dig Derp herself Crystal Cox.

Now you might be asking, What is our issue with lesbians.

Nothing, we don’t care if someone is Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Hetrosexual, Transexual, black, white, yellow, or purple polka dotted with trisexual tentacles, though that would be strange - but awesome. The reason we bring this to your attention is Crystal Cox in her infinite batshit craziness has basically destroyed the whole site for her personal Ego trip and to confront the demons in her head that keep whispering that Marc Randazza is her sworn enemy and must be destroyed by using bad capitalization.

Yes you guessed it the top post which takes up two pages is all about Marc. Don’t bother reading it, it’s the same post on countless other sites we have all seen, and will again, and again, and ad infi-fuckin-nitem.

Why would you do this Crystal, is it not enough that you are bringing the Legal and Technology fraternities down upon you, you now have to bring Lesbians into your madness?

Oh for those wondering about, that’s an interesting story, but we will allow Crystal herself to tell it in a video found

[warning: CrystalsTumblingCox takes no responsibility for outbreaks of laughter, headaches, or other maladies that may occur from watching the following video - you have been forewarned]


and also on Out Lesbian (down right hand side) as well.

Read more …

Filed under Crystal Cox Lesbian match making Marc Randazza Craziness extortion

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Just some more Deep Digging

Just some more Deep Digging and we have some links for the adventurous.

Some older links that used to be full of Ms Cox’s bile though now sell Viagra, Adipex, Phd’s or are non-existent.

Post your thoughts, fears, and any good recipes for cocktails to get rid of the headaches that these pages WILL give you in the comments.

On another topic, did Ken at Popehat just post that Crystal placed a cross-complaint against Every single person on the planet, or just in the United States, or has our mind gone weird again (look for the bold print)

She sued a vast array of people, including all the attorneys in the law firm representing the plaintiff suing her, as well as miscellaneous government entities:

For Complalint against Counter Defendants David Aman, Esq Personally and Professionally, Tonkon Torp Law Firm and all partners, associates and of counsel in their professional and individual capacities, Obsidian Finance LLC and any/all affiliates, Kevin Padrick Esq. officially, professionally and personally, David Brown Esq. professionally and personally, Ewan Rose Esq. officially, professionally and personally, Patrick Flaherty Esq., Bend Oregon District Attorney Office officially, professionally and personally capacities, Deschutes County, Stephanie DeYoung, CPA StudebakerDeYoung CPA PC -Stephanie Studebaker LLP , Mark Neuman, Lane Lyons, Brian Stevens, Tim Larkin, Summit Accomodators Inc. and any and all affiliates, Sean Boushie, Lincoln County Montana District Attorney Bernie Cassidy, P. Stephen Lamont, CEO of iViewit Technologies Inc, Robin Clute Personally and Professionally, and John and Jane Does.

Filed under Sony iViewit Crystal Cox extortion craziness

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Crystal Cox asks everyone to Dig Deep

yes Dig Deep, and not Dig Derp as some wags have suggested.

So we took her at her word, Dug Deep (in capitals no less) and found the same solid gold

It seems that Philly Law Blogger extraordinaire - Jordan Rushie seems to have also taken this advise from Crystal, and after a bout of investigative insomnia, found and presents to the world a whole lot more about Crystal Cox and her Dig Derp ways and it’s even in chronological order.

Though for a real in depth Deep Digging timeline of what Crystal has been up to these last 4 years, you cannot go past, well you can and will most likely have less nightmares because of it, Anonymous Insider’s amazingly well put together list of public documents.

Investigative Blogging - sleep not included! We Dig it!

Filed under Crystal Cox Bullshit extortion Derp timeline legal

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Slashdot gets in on the situation

It seems that the Slashdot community has been rehashing the Crystal Cox situation with, as you would expect, a lot of comments about what is and isn’t Free Speech though very few actually agreeing with anything Crystal has done, and a majority calling for criminal sanctions.

In amongst the comments, we at CrystalsTumblingCox (yes we now have our own moniker - cool hey?) spotted a gem:

by droopus (33472) * on Tuesday April 03, @11:10PM (#39568267)

I had the dubious honor of having to deal with this piece of shit about two years ago.

Many years ago, I worked on a project called Movielink [] which was one of the first “download now, watch later” movie services, originally under the auspices of Sony Pictures. We launched a beta site in 2001, and I left to work on other projects.

Ten years later, I was contacted by one of the (ex) Sony Pictures folks, asking for help with a net stalker. All he had was a bunch of threatening emails, one of which had been sent from a standard mail client not Hush or a remailer. The IP was pretty easy, since it pointed to a group of properties (on one big plot) all owned by this Cox woman. (150 Grave Creek Rd, Eureka, MT 59917, 710 Grave Creek Rd, Eureka, MT 59917, 830 Grave Creek Rd Eureka, MT 59917) Once uncovered, she pulled out the stops and registered every possible permutation of my friend’s name with “fuck” preceding or appended to each name. She must have registered fifty domains, and was making ridiculous claims about patent theft, and directly asking my friend for money to “shut down her investigative efforts.”

We got lucky, I guess. In the cleartext email, she directly threatened my friend that she would “ruin him just for fun.” Since she was in court with Obsidian, I wrote an amicus (jailhouse lawyer, remember? B) and promised I would send it to the Court and Obsidian’s counsel the next day if she didn’t transfer every domain with my friends name to him immediately. No threats. We never heard from her again, but every domain was transferred to my friend.

Her site still tops her own Google results. Why is this still a civil issue?

Normally, we would regard this allegation with a skeptical eye, though with a bit of “investigative blogging” of our own, using Google search on the terms movielink and Crystal Cox, we discovered that the links shown have indeed been removed (though not all of them) and on face value their is reasonable proof that droopus is exactly whom they appear to be, someone who has had the dubious displeasure of dealing with Ms Cox.

Whoever droopus is we feel you and your friends anguish and are amazed that his and your mental state has not been affected. The alleged amicus brief that you wrote, would be an extremely interesting read and the public at large would be extremely grateful if it could somehow be provided without breaching any pre-existing agreements you had with Ms Cox.

Especially since the links in question regarding your friends name might of been removed (though sadly still exist under Google cache and Wayback machine) the posts referring to Movielink, Sony, and presumably your friends identity within there, most definitely still exist. It is up to you

As for your question droopus . Why indeed!

Filed under crystal cox slashdot extortion movielink Sony legal

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We have been reading Crystal Cox’s websites, yes we are masochists here, especially her latest blabbering on why “Judge Hernandez Calls for FBI Investigation, or tells me in a Hearing Weeks Before the Trial that he was Calling for an FBI Investigation.

Way to hedge your bets Crystal. He either called one or told you way before he told you. Ummm yeah ok.

Then the video, stating more people you have made web sites about, more allegations of Institutions conspiring against you (ie: University of Montana) and an interesting tidbit from you about how you are about to file a “Federal Hate Crime” allegation against certain individuals.

Then we spot a huge amount of links all talking about conflict of interests in regards to judges and how Crystal seems to think that somehow Judges need to sign some sort of statement stating they do not need to recuse themselves because you were Pro Se (representing yourself for those not versed in latin). Interestingly the first link in this list (from wikipedia) fully states in laypersons terms why and how Judges recuse themselves and the recourse available to a party if they have concerns. Though it looks like the “investigative blogger” loves links, just reading them in a comprehensive manner is beyond her responsibility or ability.

Then there is, lo and behold, a gift from Crystal to all do not have the financial wherewithal to purchase her transcripts of trial. We have now a copy of the day of the trial, and the day before the trial. Lots of reading to do now, for this we thank you Crystal, the world can now read for themselves what ACTUALLY happened and not just what you want us to know.

I will just leave you with this gem of brilliant grammatical logic from the mind of Crystal:

The Current Fire Storm Against Blogger Crystal Cox is Whistle Blower Retaliation, Plain and Simple. Thing is, I am NOT the Whistle Blower, I am the Investigative Blogger whom got the Whistle Blowers FOUND in the Search Engines. [ link ]

All we can say here is:

Filed under crystal cox legal extortion stupidity harrasment transcripts